So, I wrote a blog last night which at that moment in time was something I needed to get off my chest…despite it all, I feel like I’ve jumped back 10 spaces, not in a negative way however, more of a reality way, as in I was able to realize what I was doing to the man I love the man that has dealt with so much of my antics. Now he doesn’t by any means know this but even though he drives me absolutely insane he also keeps my head on straight oh and get this he does this little checklist with me before we go on a trip or anywhere where I will be far from home, so I walk out to get into his car, of course the moment I open the door to sit he begins with:
1). Him: Do you have your drivers license?
Him: Let me see it. (Now he does this cause I have an extremely bad habit of saying yes to him just to shut him up and I have been known to come unprepared) So I show it to him so that the world can start to revolve again.
2). Him: Did you bring everything you need?
Him: Let me see
Again I proceed to show him that I’ve got my makeup bag and keys.
3). Him: Do you have your phone?
Him: Let me see. Once again I show him
The point is, at first I thought he was being the true asshole every man truly is deep down inside, but upon closer look its his weird condescending way of making sure that we will be ok. When we go out of town (now he doesn’t know this) I prefer that he drive because when he’s in control I feel safe, I feel that no matter what happens he’s going to step up and be the man and nothing will happen cause he’s in control….however his argument is that I should take more responsibility for my own things and I completely agree but you have to be able to release some of that manly control that you are afraid to let go of. When we are together I feel that our personalities compliment each others. For instance he’s more reserved, play by the rules, lets wait and be safe and weigh out all our options before we make a move. To some extent that’s great but I am more of, hey this might be our last chance so lets jump on the opportunity. He gives me strengths where my weaknesses are but in turn I feel I provide strengths to his weaknesses which is where I get that we not only compliment each other but aid where aid needs to be.