Suck My Dick?

So,…over the years I have met some interesting people, and some well you know boring ass people…but I have to say when a girl says, “Suck my dick.” I look at them and smile but in my mind I am like what the fuck but you have a vagina so what is it exactly that your trying to say, or is it that suck my dick sounds alot better than suck my vagina? 

Needless to say…I roll with it because I don’t wanna seem like the odd woman out, when it comes to being correct…But I have been hearing this phrase alot more recently and I am almost inclined to start using it as well…so I tried

“SUCK MY DICK!!!” I yelled to another friend after she made a remark about how my makeup was done…apparently not to her fucking liking and well I responded with,

“BITCH SUCK MY FUCKING DICK!” She got quiet almost like I had won this battle of who can say the phrase louder and with more profanity…yes! I thought finally I won the suck my dick battle and everyone should bow down and suck my dick…

This phrase still brings a smile to my face because well its funny to think that in a back ass backwards world people could very well possibly maybe, if the moon and the stars all aligned that maybe, just maybe the phrase, “suck my pussy lips” could somehow catch on….

Although I highly doubt it, its still fun to think about,…or maybe I could be the one to start a new catch phrase among guys that goes a little something like this, *clears throat* “SUCK MY TITTIES BITCH!” Now that would definitely be one for the books…atleast if I was in control of that book, and if maybe that book had ever been written….but I have faith, awesome catch phrases catch on if their good and I happen to think that’s pretty good.

Needless to say, I still feel awkward yelling out to anyone to suck anything whether its my imaginary dick that I only have in words, or my pussy which I gotta tell you I am not completely comfortable saying it…atleast not yet….

When Trying Makes You Give Up

I won’t use your real name you don’t deserve that type of fame, you led me to believe that you were in for me when in the end you never considered us a we…you considered us a you and I know you always will so I’ve decided to cut you out of my life…everyday I’d lie to myself and say you really cared when you didn’t even dare to sit down and talk about how you really felt and that’s all I really needed to hear not some sob story about what you fear. I fell in love with you and you took it and chewed it up just to spit it out…

Thanks for all the good memories I will never forget you after all my love for you was true.

Houston Drivers (The types)

Being born and raised in Houston,…I am pretty familiar with the drivers of Houston. So as I was driving this morning,..it came to me…I wanted to write about the different types..yes types…of drivers this great city has to offer…

-There is the super slow gold Toyota driving Asians yes the ones who drive in the middle lane and drive at about 10mph.
-There is the ride your ass all the way home men in big monster trucks that they use to drive absolutely nowhere.
-There is the let me race you on a busy street with traffic lights that we have to stop at every 10 minutes.
-There is the let me see how many times I can weave in and out of traffic on the same busy street.
-There is the let me get in the right turn lane and not turn and hold everyone up cause they have to go straight.

And last but not least
-The drivers who like to hold people up…you know the ones who like to work together on a two lane street and hold people up by consistently keeping the same speed to not let anyone pass

PATHETIC!!! Don’t be a jerk off let people get to wherever they are going you do not know if that person has a life threatening emergency.

ADHD…A silent distraction

As a child I was always…I mean always getting into trouble for one thing or another whether it is not sitting still or talking to much or just blurting out answers even before the teacher was finished asking the question. I could never just calm down!

It continued well into my junior high years and high school years. It was a huge STRUGGLE to sit there and watch other kids have the ability to read or write without getting distracted while I sat there struggling to stay on task for even ten or fifteen minutes. School or anything that required my attention was a problem and I dreaded going to school or work…because I could not concentrate and when my boss would ask me to finish something all I could do is deal with the intense flood of thoughts about how I was going to finish and how I was even going to start…

Now that I have gotten older and am able to make my own decisions…I went back to some of my older evaluations when I was a kid and it clearly stated that I displayed some key characteristics of an inattention type …and sure enough yes I had ADHD…my mother refused to put me on medication or maybe it was because she refused to believe that anything was wrong with her first born child…regardless of the reason I finally got to an age that I was able to get myself on medication…which I immediately did.

The medication has done absolute wonders as far as work and school. The change has been amazing in every way I hoped it would be…so if you stumble across this post and you are a mother or child that is struggling with a mental disorder or some sort of other issue than….I URGE YOU TO SEEK MEDICAL HELP! I cannot express in words what it would do for anyone who is having problems….

Dinner Conversation

So, I am having dinner with my friend whom I have known since third grade, we are talking about life and what we have been up to and you know giving the, “411,” if you will on our lives…As some of you know I am going through a recent change in my life, one that has undoubtedly been alittle challenging,  my quest to find out who I am as a person.  Sure everyone goes through this and yes people spend their whole lives trying to answer the age old question? What is my purpose in life? Honestly, I do not see that as being a legitimate question and no I don’t mean legitimate as in is it a real question, but rather can the question ever be truly answered even by the one whom seeks the answer? I think not! Life is about choices and lets face it, your human. Your role as a human is to live life to the best of your knowledge and to treat others with respect. No where in any textbook or any life lesson that your parents gave you has the phrase, “You are to never make a mistake,” ever come up. Parents tell us as children to be cautious of our decisions but decisions are a part of life and not every decision you make will be the right one, after all isn’t the only way we learn through our mistakes? I’ve recently had some tough decisions to come too and believe me they were tough but after I made my mind up I couldn’t feel more relieved. You see, I was always worried about how others would view me rather than how I viewed myself which after all is the most important thing right? If your friend sees you as a pathetic loser so be it, if your ex boyfriend sees you as this irresponsible dramatic girl well let them assume. Remember they too are humans and very capable of error. Don’t let the view that others have of you influence what you do today. They are either with you or against you and most of the time its against.

Goodbye…Forever

So when I first signed up for this blog I didn’t really expect to use it but maybe once or twice but now I see myself consistently using it…which brings me to why I am even writing at 5:49 A.M. I just feel like if I write it down I can finally start to let go. So I went and saw my ex boyfriend last night I’m still not 100% sure how I knew that this would be the ultimate last and final time I would ever get to see or hug him ever. So when I first saw him my feelings rushed to my head and I wanted so badly for him just to tell me he loved me and that everything from here on out would be so much better and that he wanted to work on us…Ideally thats what I would of like to have happened, however we all know that’s not what happened, sure we talked but getting him to tell me the real reason was like pulling teeth but once I had gotten him to start talking I saw a side of him in the whole 3 years I’ve known him I had never seen, a sincere and genuine side…I thought to myself maybe this man did care for me just a tad more than I had given him credit for but it was too late he wasn’t ready to work on us and I couldn’t wait for him to be ready and at that point I felt like I was talking to a wall so I dropped it…However, I needed that closure I needed to know that this is what he really wanted and that he was satisfied in the decision he had made, so as each day without him starts to become more common and  as the years go by where we start to disappear from each others lives and the memories of all the good times we had start to fade that’s when I think it will hit me that me and him are truly over but also I will always know he was the one who didn’t see me as being special, that I will be forever the one who didn’t give up and even later on down this incredibly long winding road of emotion, he will always be the one who gave up. In my mind I know me and him had an amazing bond that only we knew, a bond so tight we were able to go from having the loudest most obnoxious arguments to the most sweet and sincere conversations. Only in this relationship. I’ll never forget.

I wish him the best of luck and I hope he finds what he is looking for.

From the melodramatic View

So, I wrote a blog last night which at that moment in time was something I needed to get off my chest…despite it all, I feel like I’ve jumped back 10 spaces, not in a negative way however, more of a reality way, as in I was able to realize what I was doing to the man I love the man that has dealt with so much of my antics. Now he doesn’t by any means know this but even though he drives me absolutely insane he also keeps my head on straight oh and get this he does this little checklist with me before we go on a trip or anywhere where I will be far from home, so I walk out to get into his car, of course the moment I open the door to sit he begins with:

1). Him: Do you have your drivers license?
Me: Yes
Him: Let me see it. (Now he does this cause I have an extremely bad habit of saying yes to him just to shut him up and I have been known to come unprepared) So I show it to him so that the world can start to revolve again.
2). Him: Did you bring everything you need?
Me: Yes
Him: Let me see
Again I proceed to show him that I’ve got my makeup bag and keys.
3). Him: Do you have your phone?
Me: Yes
Him: Let me see. Once again I show him

The point is, at first I thought he was being the true asshole every man truly is deep down inside, but upon closer look its his weird condescending way of making sure that we will be ok. When we go out of town (now he doesn’t know this) I prefer that he drive because when he’s in control I feel safe, I feel that no matter what happens he’s going to step up and be the man and nothing will happen cause he’s in control….however his argument is that I should take more responsibility for my own things and I completely agree but you have to be able to release some of that manly control that you are afraid to let go of. When we are together I feel that our personalities compliment each others. For instance he’s more reserved, play by the rules, lets wait and be safe and weigh out all our options before we make a move. To some extent that’s great but I am more of, hey this might be our last chance so lets jump on the opportunity. He gives me strengths where my weaknesses are but in turn I feel I provide strengths to his weaknesses which is where I get that we not only compliment each other but aid where aid needs to be.